Well, it’s a sad day when what begins as a mutual fan club degenerates into insults, threats, and challenges, but it has happened. I know this will come as a shock, but not only am I a witness, I’m a participant. An innocent one, of course, as the transcript below will prove. As for James of Blackpitts and his blog— I will spit on his blog, I will. Blackhearted James, they call him, or Blackguard James, and now I know why.
I believe the transcript speaks for itself, but perhaps some background is necessary after all.
The document below was compiled by selecting the messages from the relevent "plots" at Blotanical. (If you don’t yet know about Blotanical, get with the program. Or just click on the link.) You can view James’ plot, with my messages to him, and my plot, with his to me, if you wish to view the originals. I think you will agree that the transcription is accurate.
(After much reflection, I have decided that Blotanical is blameless in this matter–and no doubt Blotanical’s creator
Stuart is now heaving a sigh of relief, for blood on the site, while no doubt something of a novelty, would be unlikely to attract the right sort of people.)
The crude neologism "favouritising" employed by James (which I, in a misguided gesture of comraderie, repeated) refers, of course, to the practice at Blotanical of selecting another’s blog as a favorite, or "faving" it. And to think that this exchange began with something as positive as adding a blog to a list of favorites, and as innocuous as the weather! It’s a dangerous world out there.
I have put all of James’ messages into italics, in part for clarity, in part because these slanted letters seem so aptly to indicate his nature, which is anything but upright.
7 Jun 2008 04:33:18 AM
Hey Kate. Thank you for favouritising my blog. I hope all is jolly in Montana.
7 Jun 2008 04:59:11 PM
Favoritizing, eh? Can I add that to my Grt. Britain glossary? Anyway, you’re welcome. I enjoy your blog. –Kate
14 Jun 2008 11:53:36 PM
Hi, James. Thanks for the returning the favoritizing, blog-wise. We’re quite jolly in Montana, snow having given way quite abruptly to sunshine. And you? Kate
17 Jun 2008 01:53:24 PM
Perfect June days: warm (but not sweltering), light breezes and everything flowering its socks off. Can’t last of course!
23 Jun 2008 10:40:40 AM
"everything flowering its socks off," eh? How about a picture? I never knew flowers wore socks. Around here, it’s hats and mittens, but somehow "flowering its mittens off" doesn’t have the same umph. We’ve also finally got June weather. Lovely.
25 Jun 2008 02:00:26 PM
As they are all busy flowering their socks off then, obviously, it would be impossible to photograph them with socks! Quite apart from the fact that most plants are a little embarrassed about their sock wearing proclivities. Enjoy the sunshine.
2 Jul 2008 12:02:38 AM
Okay, so they can’t be photographed with socks on, point taken; but how about the socks flying through the air, the socks littering the flower gardens, etc, etc, etc? Huh? How about all of that? I await your response. K.
2 Jul 2008 05:55:33 AM
I think you have the wrong impression of my plants. They are all impeccably brought up so the idea of socks littering the joint would be an anathema to them all. They pride themselves on their tidiness so everything is put away when not in use.
2 Jul 2008 08:49:48 PM
Impeccably brought up? YOUR plants? Please. The mind boggles.
3 Jul 2008 05:57:56 AM
Are you questioning the bloodlines of my plants? Madam, I am stricken to the marrow. I have fought duels for less.
3 Jul 2008 02:32:42 PM
Their bloodlines? Who said anything about their bloodlines? It was their upbringing I called into doubt. And we know who was responsible for that. As for the duel–ha. Show up at my front door with a brace of pistols and you’re on. –Kate
Well, what more need be said. When my bloodied body is found by my front door–for, despite my brave talk, I have no skill with firearms–you at least will know what happened, and whom to blame.