Category Archives: Off the (Gardening) Wall

Transforming Black Friday

Jdimytai Damour NYT 11:29:08
Jdimytai Damour
NYT 11/29/08

There's been a lot of activity in the blogosphere in reaction to Jdimytai Damour's terrible death on Black Friday. Damour had been working at the Long-Island Wal-Mart for only a week or so when he was trampled to death by out-of-control shoppers the day after Thanksgiving. Amongst garden bloggers, Bamboo Geek, for instance, suggested that we “Dump the "Black Friday" Tradition." I wish we could, but that's probably too much to hope for, so here's a distant second best.

Imagine this: people outside big shopping outlets carrying signs that say, "Remember Jdimytai Damour" on Black Friday next year–and the year after—and the next. We could hand out black armbands to remind people to remember that man and to be kind to one another.

There’s a chance, just a chance, I think, that people wearing these bands, seeing them on other’s arms, would slow down a little, just enough to see one another’s faces, and in those faces, their shared humanity.

Is this possible? Can we do it?

BGMD: Whitman’s “This Compost”

I know this is a little long, but my next big article for Eric at Planet Natural is on composting, so it had to be done. If it's too long for you, read the first line of each stanza and the whole last stanza, especially the last line. And if the idea that I'm giving advice about how to skim a poem horrifies you, well, now you know the worst about me. 

This Compost

1

SOMETHING startles me where I thought I was safest;
 
I withdraw from the still woods I loved;  
I will not go now on the pastures to walk;  
I will not strip the clothes from my body to meet my lover the sea;  
I will not touch my flesh to the earth, as to other flesh, to renew me.          5
  
O how can it be that the ground does not sicken?  
How can you be alive, you growths of spring?  
How can you furnish health, you blood of herbs, roots, orchards, grain?  
Are they not continually putting distemper’d corpses within you?  
Is not every continent work’d over and over with sour dead?   10
  
Where have you disposed of their carcasses?  
Those drunkards and gluttons of so many generations;  
Where have you drawn off all the foul liquid and meat?  
I do not see any of it upon you to-day—or perhaps I am deceiv’d;  
I will run a furrow with my plough—I will press my spade through the sod, and turn it up underneath;   15
I am sure I shall expose some of the foul meat.  
  
2


Behold this compost! behold it well!
 
Perhaps every mite has once form’d part of a sick person—Yet behold!  
The grass of spring covers the prairies,  
The bean bursts noislessly through the mould in the garden,   20
The delicate spear of the onion pierces upward,  
The apple-buds cluster together on the apple-branches,  
The resurrection of the wheat appears with pale visage out of its graves,  
The tinge awakes over the willow-tree and the mulberry-tree,  
The he-birds carol mornings and evenings, while the she-birds sit on their nests,   25
The young of poultry break through the hatch’d eggs,  
The new-born of animals appear—the calf is dropt from the cow, the colt from the mare,  
Out of its little hill faithfully rise the potato’s dark green leaves,  
Out of its hill rises the yellow maize-stalk—the lilacs bloom in the dooryards;  
The summer growth is innocent and disdainful above all those strata of sour dead.   30
  
What chemistry!  
That the winds are really not infectious,  
That this is no cheat, this transparent green-wash of the sea, which is so amorous after me,  
That it is safe to allow it to lick my naked body all over with its tongues,  
That it will not endanger me with the fevers that have deposited themselves in it,   35
That all is clean forever and forever.  
That the cool drink from the well tastes so good,  
That blackberries are so flavorous and juicy,  
That the fruits of the apple-orchard, and of the
orange-orchard—that melons, grapes, peaches, plums, will none of them
poison me,
 
That when I recline on the grass I do not catch any disease,   40
Though probably every spear of grass rises out of what was once a catching disease.  
  
3


Now I am terrified at the Earth! it is that calm and patient,
 
It grows such sweet things out of such corruptions,  
It turns harmless and stainless on its axis, with such endless successions of diseas’d corpses,  
It distils such exquisite winds out of such infused fetor,   45
It renews with such unwitting looks, its prodigal, annual, sumptuous crops,  
It gives such divine materials to men, and accepts such leavings from them at last.

by Walt Whitman (1819–1892).  Leaves of Grass.  1900.

Needed: a little madness. Or, Sock war history revised–get a life, Kate!

Several weeks ago, on a day when it was hard to get motivated for anything, I ended up writing a new, extensive–nay, the definitive–history of the sock wars. You can see it on the Page listed to the right.

I'm beginning to feel like one of those people who peaks in their last year in highschool–you know, the football star, the homecoming queen–and after that, it's all downhill. Sigh. I'll be telling my grandchildren about those damn socks. Right, and they'll be saying, "Yeah, Grandma, we know; you've only told us about it a thousand times."

Damn it, if something else totally crazy doesn't happen in the bloggin' world soon I am going to run out to my garage "in the au naturel," as the Garden Wise Guy so delicately and hilariously puts it, throw all my gardening tools into the alley, light them on fire, and throw myself on the heap, shrieking.

Heavens. I had no idea I was that pent up.

From “dastardly” to “divine”

Columbine petal

Who'd a thunk it. A few short months ago, James Alexander-Sinclair said the following  in a comment on this very blog you're reading at this precise moment: "Ah-ha. So this is where the dastardly Kate (may the pigeons poop upon her laundry) hangs out."

Got that folks? "Dastardly." (Excuse me while I wring out my handkerchief; the memory still makes me weep.) If you think I made it up, you can check it out yourself. It was in the comments on the very first post in what shortly became known as the Sock Wars. (As for the remark about the laundry, the pigeons, and the poop, well–the less said, the better.)

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Cat-lovers of the world–unite!

If you've managed to escape LAPCPADPOUB (or let's all post cat photos and dire poetry on our blogs) day so far, you lead a charmed life, and James A-S will probably appear at your doorstep shortly, begging to know how you managed it. Inaugurated by Happy Mouffetard of The Inelegant Gardener (What is a "mouffetard," anyway? I must ask her), the contest was inspired by James' incautious suggestion that some gardening blogs suffered from a surfeit of cats. Foolish man.

Quark in lettuce2

This is our three-legged marauder in the lettuce patch in September.


The result? This contest, for which James had to serve as judge and for which he had to provide the prizes–copies of his own elegant little gardening book, so recently reviewed here. Well, did he think cat-lovers would take his insults lying down?

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