BREAKING NEWS
Near the end of last winter the blogger known as the Manic Gardener, (a rather obvious play on her own name, Kate Gardner) wrote not one, but TWO posts about problems with growing tomatoes indoors and how she was never going to make that mistake again: she had learned her lesson, she had seen the light, she was a reformed person, a cured addict: “tomatoes belong outdoors, not in.”
Yet the aphids pictured above are on a tomato leaf, and the photo was taken today, in the home of the aforementioned Manic Gardener. What conclusions can we draw?
First, she is growing tomatoes indoors, eight months after swearing that she never would again.
Second, here is a woman who does not keep her word.
Third, her tomatoes have aphids. Also white flies.
After all her talk about lessons learned, then, it appears that this blogger has learned neither to leave tomatoes outside where they belong, nor how to bring them inside without bringing their pests in with them.
When our correspondent in Bozeman, Montana reached her, Ms Manic explained that she had harvested NO tomatoes last summer, claiming that a hailstorm of epic proportions had set her tomatoes back months. Some had made a good recovery, but too slowly to produce before cold weather, and she could not bear to dump these at the end of the season just when they were beginning to flower again.
It’s a touching tale, but we are not taken in. We at EFG (Exposing False Gardeners) will be following this story, and we promise to bring you the latest updates.
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I hate to say I told you so, but I posted in July 2008 exposing this treacherous woman for the false speaker that she is. Her word means literally nothing. Any minute now she will probably start saying that her garden is “flowering its socks off”. I denounce her, and think we should make her wear a dress with a big scarlet letter “A” on the front for Aphid. It just somehow seems appropriate?
Aw, we like her in spite of her tomato lies. ;-)
Dear Ms T.,,
Thank you for drawing our attention to this earlier episode, which had hitherto escaped our notice.
We at EFG can verify that this miscreant’s garden is now entirely covered by snow, so if you hear any claims about its flowering its socks or any other clothing part off, you will know that she is up to her old tricks.
Your suggestion re: the letter A seems to us to be entirely appropriate, and has been forwarded to the appropriate authorities.
Sincerely,
Thomas P. Fuddleduddler
President, Exposing False Gardeners
Susan–Thank you. As you can see, I need all the help I can get.
–Kate
I conclude aphids like tomatoes.
I hadn’t known that before.
Lucy
You conclude correctly, Lucy, to my sorrow.
–Kate