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- Minding Your Manure
- Landscaping for Wildlife
- From Seed to Seedling
- Potless Plants: Starting seeds with Soil Blocks
- Where it All Comes Together—Or Falls Apart
- Seeds for the Season
- Water-wise gardening
- The Way It Works: Compost Science
- Going Native: why and how to garden with native plants
- Botany for Backyard Gardeners #1
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My thoughts are with you during this heart breaking time. Be Well
Deb.
Our thoughts and energies are with you and your family. My father passed away two months ago. Some of your thoughts seem so familiar to me. Again, we are sending our best energies your way.
I’m so sorry Kate. My thoughts are with you too.
Kate, I’m so sorry. I know how much you loved her and how complex your relationship was. Thinking of you.
Kate, my friend, I’m so sorry about your sister. Peace!(((HUGS)))
Thank you all–and sympathy to you, Shibaguyz, as well. These complicated relationships, as Michãel so aptly puts it, lead to complicated grief. But there it is, so might as well pick it up and carry it.
–Kate
I am so sorry about the sudden death of your sister. Your very sensitive posting showed how much you loved and cared about her.
Jan
Always Growing
{{{{ Kate }}}} I don’t have words that can make this feel better, but I am holding you in my thoughts. So sorry for your loss.
What a horrible shock for you and what a terrible waste. Some people just seem to be on a self-destruct path and there is nothing that anyone can do or could have done. You have some lovely memories of her and it is great that you are concentrating on those moments rather than the negative side of her life.
Kate, that was a heartfelt and heartrending tribute to read, and I know it was much more so to write. I lost my best friend of 35 years to alcoholism in 2002 and so much of what you said is familiar to me. Death ends a life but it doesn’t have the power to end a relationship. In the days, weeks, months and years to come, may you feel Susan beside you in spirit and may that bring you peace and healing.
Kate – I’m so sorry. And how brave of you to tell us about it. I hope it’s started the healing process for you.
Hugs.
Kate, I was very moved by this. The loss of those who push us away is very hard to deal with, I think. It sounds as if you can remember your sister with love, and in happier times, though, and that’s a very precious legacy.
lots of love, Victoria
I am sorry, Kate. Sometimes life is a bitch.
I am deeply sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you. Take care.
I am so very sorry, Sweetie. Sometimes those who are closest to us are the ones who can hurt us the most. It sounds like she was a tortured soul while here. Maybe she will be able to find a little peace where ever she is now. M heart goes out to you and your family.
I’m really shocked to hear your news and feel for you – I sometimes think my sister going would feel the most like losing my witness in the world. THinking of you.
Kate, I haven’t visited in a while, I’m sorry, and even more sorry to hear this. Such violence toward the self is, well, something hard to understand, and you seem to have dealt with it as well as anyone thorugh your life. I can’t say much, being a stranger, but I hope things are already–just a bit–getting better for you.
I expect you are mourning what might have been too. And being angry that they never were.
I have struggled to understand alcholism and failed. I have known many people who have suffered from it and, however much I have cared for those people, there has always been a gulf between me and them. I can’t get beyond thinking ‘Just Stop – Just Stop’ – which isn’t helpful and I know isn’t possible.
I couldn’t have offered the help you offered your sister.
I don’t want to be trite but I hope you are able to gain some smiles and retrospective joy from knowing you tried.
I would like to offer you congratulations as well as wish you strength and a speedy passing for the worst part of your grief.
Esther
I agree with Michael about relationships being complex. Despite the destructive nature you describe, you were inextricably linked so you can’t help but grieve. Maybe for the loss of what could have been (like Esther suggested)or from the shock of how suddenly it occurred or just because she’s no longer here (where there was always that glimmer of hope that things might turn around). My condolences. and maybe it was therapeutic to write about it?? I know it was for me when I lost a friend to breast cancer last month.
I hate to hear any loss, especially on this level – however dealing with it immediately is the best method in my mind. This may not be the absolute best method, however it seems to help me – and apparentely it helps others as well.
Good luck and thanks for sharing.
There aren’t enough words in the world to make this better for you, Kate. Other than to nod and say…I know something of what you write. Only in my case, I expect to see my sister’s obituary in the paper one day, as she has long since estranged herself from the rest of the family. People make their choices and live withthem, and we…well, we do too, even though their choices are not ours and we didn’t want them forced on us. Please be gentle with yourself in the coming days and months, and know that you’re cared about.
You people bless me with your words and your caring. Thank you.
–Kate
I am so very sorry. I have a sister too. Difficult relationship with her also. I don’t know what else to say, but again, my heart goes out to you.~~Dee