I’m going to open a restaurant.
Customer: So—what are you serving for lunch today?
Me: Well, we have shredded lettuce, torn lettuce, lettuce julienne, and mangled lettuce.
Customer: And the soup?
Me: Lettuce puree.
Me: And make up your mind quick, because it’s all going to start rotting in about five minutes!
I expect an enthusiastic, upscale clientel.