Monthly Archives: July 2008

I Used to Have a Garden, or, So who needs lettuce?

Lettuce_after_hail_4_2  

Well, shit. Hail for the second time in a week. The first time shredded my lettuce bed pretty badly, as you can see below.

Lettuce_after_hail_3 This one about ruined the young lettuce I’d planted for family across the alley who let me use gardening space in their yard; those greenish smears used to be lettuce plants.Marsinko_lettuce_after_hail_2 Things look almost as bad in the lettuce bed next door, where five college guys also let me use space. (This is my plan for world hegemony: yard by yard, I advance.)

I did wrap a row-cover over one tomato and young squash in a barrel, and they fared better under the weight than others did with the slash and freeze of the hail itself. This young crookneck squash took a real beating, though, Squash_after_hail_4 as did the potatoes. 

Potato_patch_after_hail_2

The whole thing was over in five or ten minutes. The temperature plumetted, from somewhere in the high eighties or above (it’s been in the mid-nineties recently)  to the sixties or lower, then swung abuptly back up as the  cloud passed away and the sun returned.  The neighbor’s picnic table, heated in the sun, then doused and cooled, and warmed again, created its own little cloud:Steaming_picnic_table_after_hail

When it was over, we had flooding in the cellar and a leak in the dining room. That was two hours ago.

Oh god, it’s starting again. It’s almost six-thirty, darker than it usually gets till nearly ten, and it sounds as if the house is under seige. What happened to good old-fashioned thunderstorms with RAIN? Some of these hailstones are in clusters; some are an inch in diameter.

The tomato I saved this afternoon has been flattened; the delphinium in the circle garden, just about to bloom, have disappeared into the earth. Leaves from the golden current just outside the window are plastered on the screen, and the branches, lush even after the last onslaught, hang bare and tattered.

Eh–I never really wanted to garden, anyway.

I keep remembering the summer in Laura Ingalls Wilder’s last book, The First Four Years, when her husband Almonzo decided to wait one more day before harvesting the oats. A hail storm came through that afternoon, ruining the crop. There are probably people only a couple of miles away from me for whom this is not an inconvenience, but a tragedy. I am one of the lucky ones.

Okay, I just went out to assess the damage, and it’s almost total. Here’s the tomato I managed to save this afternoon:Tomato_small_after_hail

Here’s another, much bigger one:Tomato_tall

And here is the main garden plot:After_the_hail_3

The smaller box in front is the one that held potatoes this afternoon. Also peas. As for the back plot–wow. The peas were so lush, the beans behind them coming along nicely–all gone.

My husband calculates that if there was a centimeter of hail, (it’s drifted inches deep in places) then actually a ton of ice fell out of the sky onto our lot. Is this what the hand of God feels like?

Tell me your disaster stories, so I don’t have time to feel sorry for myself.

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Fertilizing the Earth to Death: Thomas Hager on Nitrogen

Got an e-mail recently from a very interesting fellow who’s just written a book about the chemistry and ecology of synthetic nitrogen fertilizers, and if you haven’t had your fix of ecological chills recently, keep reading. The e-mail arrived in the midst of the Sock Wars, so I scrutinized it with more than ordinary vigilance, as if it might blow up in my face (revealing another face under a large hat, laughing madly), or as if the virus it harbored might bloom suddenly into sock-tossing flowers.

Having eventually decided (using a fool-proof method of one part deduction and eight parts pure guess-work) that the e-mail was legit, I followed the link provided and found myself reading a long and compelling passage about the unintended and dangerous consequences of nitrogen fixation, the basis for nitrogen fertilizers.

The fixation process, which takes nitrogen from the atmosphere (where it makes up 70% of the air we breathe) and incorporates it into compounds, has doubled the amount of nitrogen in and on the earth. When it’s applied to land as fertilizer, some of it is released as gas – and while some of that gas is the same harmless, inert N2 that we breathe all the time, some is now bonded with oxygen, forming the green-house gas nitrous oxide.

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Monday Muse: Wayward Wayman Again

For those of you who thought that Wayman’s Picketing Supermarkets was way too political or preachy, I thought I’d share this one, which has nothing to do with gardening, but everything to do the importance of a light touch, and the price of politics out of place. I just love a guy who can laugh at himself.

Wayman in Love

At last Wayman gets the girl into bed.
He is locked in one of those embraces
so passionate his left arm is asleep
when suddenly he is bumped in the back.
"Excuse me," a voice mutters, thick with German.
Wayman and the girl sit up astounded
As a furry gentleman in boots and a frock coat
Climbs in under the covers.

"My name is Doktor Marx," the intruder announces
settling his neck comfortably on the pillow.
"I am here to consider for you the cost of a kiss."
He pulls out a notepad. "Let us see now,
we have the price of the mattress, the room must be rented,
your time off work, groceries for two,
medical fees in case of accidents."

"Look," Wayman says, "couldn’t we do this later?"
The philosopher sighs, and continues: "You are affected too, Miss.
If you are not working, you are going to resent
your dependent position. This will influence
I assure you, your most intimate moments."

"Doctor, please," Wayman says. "All we want is to be left alone."
But another beard, more nattily dressed, is also getting into the bed.
There is a shifting and heaving of bodies
as everyone wriggles out room for themselves.
"I want you to meet a friend from Vienna," Marx says. "This is Doktor Freud."

The newcomer straightens his glasses, peers at Wayman and the girl.
"I can see," he begins,"that you two have problems?"

           Tom Wayman

Tagged by Victoria, who may remember in future to be careful what she wishes for.

I am so far behind that I have now been tagged TWICE, and where I at first thought this let me off the hook, I now gather that no, it’s not so easy. So here goes for round one, for which I can thank Victoria at Victoria’s Backyard. (Thank you, Victoria. I think.)

Here are the rules, and if you don’t follow them, someone uproots all your favorite plants and lays them out on your grass to form the words, "Ha, Ha!"

* Link to the person who tagged you.
* Post the rules on the blog.
* Write six random things about yourself.
* Tag six people at the end of your post.
* Let each person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.
* Let the tagger know when your entry is up.

Now for my six:

1) I’ve had fifteen surgeries, including three rotator-cuff surgeries (meaning more shoulder surgeries than I’ve got shoulders), but I’m still digging. Most surgeries were arthritis-related; a couple did result from the injuries people seem to assume I must court. Here in Bozeman, a town full of climbers and skiers, several surgeries is par for the course and there are parties where you have to show your ACL scars to gain admittance. Still, it’s true that I have racked up rather an impressive total even for this region. I’ve also taken a personal vow to haul off and punch the next person who suggests that this is something I am "doing to myself," even if the result is another shoulder surgery.

2) I never graduated from high school. I have a B.A., an M.A., and most of a PhD, (all in English) but no high school graduation diploma. Furthermore, (to deepen the mystery) I didn’t drop out, I don’t have a G.E.D., and I didn’t go to college early. Here’s what happened:

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Ashes: Almost the Perfect Lawn Amendment

The Soil Series # 3

Having gone on at some length a while ago (twice!) about how wood ashes aren’t going to cause lead or mercury or cadmium poisoning if you use them in your garden, I am now prepared to tout them as the nearly-perfect lawn fertilizer. Since it seems that I’ve adopted this poor, misunderstood amendment as my own, I might as well do it thoroughly.

Grass needs calcium, which might be considered a non-renewable resource in a lawn: once the roots have used it up, it’s gone. So additions are necessary. The most common materials for such additions are gypsum, which contains about 22% calcium, and lime, at about 30%. The calcium content of ashes varies widely depending on type of wood, but even softwoods will produce ashes containing about 15% calcium, and hardwood ash may be as high as 50%.

A couple of things make ash a superior amendment, especially for lawns. For one thing, both gypsum and lime are quite insoluble. The term “immobile” seems an excellent metaphor for how they behave when applied to grass, but it’s also the technical term for a compound that doesn’t dissolve easily and therefore doesn’t move with water into and through soil. As a result, it is hard to get lime and gypsum into a plant: unless they’re snugged right up against the roots, they might as well be on Mars, for all the good they’ll do.

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